I realize it's become quite a cliche but...long time no see. I've found that as much as I enjoy the idea of blogging consistently, I often feel like my day to day thoughts aren't worthy of public exposure. Not that I don't have confidence in my voice, but that I hardly have a clear desire and inclination to write down my thoughts as I do today. I have definitely grown as a person since my last post. I was in an inconclusive place at the beginning of the summer (not that I'm not now). I honestly feel like I'm beginning to understand what people mean when they say that college requires a lot of growth. I am often reminded of the unhappy place I was in at this time last year. In the fall of last year I was extremely unsure about my college choice, my friendships (or lack there of), my relationships, and my goals. I often desired isolation outwardly, though what I truly desired was meaningful relationships that I did not have at the time. I remember telling a close friend of mine that I felt like I didn't fit. I felt like my friendships were forged by circumstance and surface commonalities. Not to say that meaningful relationships can't be forged in that manner, but I just felt like I couldn't be myself. I remember he told me that I would find my people. Well he was definitely one of my people, but since then I have definitely found people that I will be close with for a long time. I found easy relationships built on genuine intentions. Sometimes I'll sit and think about the headspace that I am in now in comparison to last fall and become emotional. I thank God for what he has done in my life and even just to my disposition. I prayed for the good part of the last year that God would put meaningful relationships in my life. I have found recently that relying on God instead of myself has changed my life tremendously. Though there is still plenty of room for improvement in every aspect of my life. I feel a freedom of not having to live up to what other people think I should do or be. I am naturally very confident in my individuality, but last year I definitely questioned it. Now I embrace me and what I can and cannot offer. I am so grateful for the learning experiences I have had thus far. I feel comfortable in the relationships I have and those that I don't (though I still pray everyday that my relationships are meaningful and that I can be meaningful in someone else's life.) All of this is to say that I feel content.
....In other news recently I have been listening to a few different songs nonstop. The first by Hillsong United, a christian band. It's called Forever Reigns. There is so much power in the words of this song. Another song I literally can't get enough of is by Beyonce (duh). It's called Pretty Hurts and its da bomb. (My friends are so tired of hearing me sing/listen to it lolz)
P.S. I still plan on putting more fashion, food and photography on this blog I promise!!!
